Exploratory Surgery Part II

On Wednesday's post I talked about how I had my son, went on birth control and ended with me about to have exploratory surgery. 

So I was told I would be having surgery, I had never been under before and I was so scared. I had a small child, and I didn't want anything to happen to me because I was the one who was raising him and I wanted to keep being his mother.

I was so young and scared. I had my Grandma with me, My Dad and my Mom. My son was in Pre-k so he was in school. I cried as I went back and waited to wake up and hear the news. Needless to say surgery went well in terms of how I did. I woke to find that the Dr. went ahead and took my appendix because she said they looked a little inflamed and didn't want to take any chances. Then she went on the tell me that I have sever endometriosis. I was devastated. I knew what that was due to my Mom. (my mom is my aunt who raised me because my bio parents couldn't or wouldn't).  She was never able to have kids of her own, she was young when she had a hysterectomy and I know that was really hard on her. All the negative things came flooding. Will I be able to ever have kids? If I am able to get pregnant, will I carry full term. Do I need a hysterectomy? Lots and lots of things to think about and process. 

The next few days were a blur I guess you could say. I wasn't able to pick up my son anymore because of the surgery, and I ended up having a hard time getting around as well. I was told to try a new birth control to help control the regrowth of the endo and at that point I was willing to do whatever it took. 

Come to find out, birth control was not my friend! While it was supposed to make thing's "better" it only made them worse. I ended up being put on Lupron, and went through menopause for almost a year. Along with that, I gained a ton of weight and just didn't feel like myself. It wasn't fun to be going through this at the age of 25. The reason the Dr. put me on this, was once again to help make things better. While It helped for a little bit, my symptoms all ended up coming back and lets just say, I am 35 now and I have had 6 surgeries and no luck. 

During my last surgery the Dr. even checked to make sure my tubes were open and are viable to get pregnant. 

I have been through a lot of things in my life, but I can say that this has been the hardest for me to come to terms with. I have always wanted to have a big family. I love kids and I wanted several. I know we don't always get what we want, more of what we need. But it was crushing to me. 

This is one thing in life I still pray for, talk to the Dr.s about and just leave my door open for the chance to let this happen. Who knows, maybe one day I will be blessed with more biological babies. 

Until next time, Be Blessed!!

Exploratory Surgery PT 1

Secondary Infertility, some say "at least you had a baby" but really it's no different than infertility to us.  I was 17 when I was pregnant with my first child. I had him at the ripe old age of 18, three weeks after my birthday. I was married to my now ex husband who was in the Navy, we had known each other for almost all of our lives. We met in middle school and grew up together from there. 

I was needing a way out of a situation and he and I were dating, I became pregnant and then we got married when I was 17 and he was 18. I was pretty lucky with my pregnancy, didn't really get sick, the only time I was "sick" was when I got food poisoning, not that was horrible. I ended up in the ER.  I ended up having my son three weeks late, but it was what the Dr. thought was best at the time. She thought he was too small before. 

After having my son, I was put on birth control. I just figured it would keep me from being able to get pregnant right away so that we could enjoy our son and then in a year or so we would be okay to get off the birth control and we get have more kids. Nope, didn't happen. Little did I know, I wouldn't ever get pregnant again. 

We decided to try again about a year later, never was able to accomplish our goal though. Then we ended up having some issues and we divorced. I think a lot had to do with his not understanding and he was gone a lot. I didn't mind the being gone part, I mean I was fine with staying home with my son, I really loved it and had always wanted to be a mom.  But then I found out he had been messing around on me too, so I was done at that point. 

Over the next year or so, I was having a lot of pain before and during my periods. I couldn't figure out why. I mean not your normal cramps, but almost falling on the floor needing to go to the hospital pain. I had never experienced that before.  I went to the Dr. she sent me off to get an ultra sound and for some reason she thought it was my appendix.  From the ultra sound I was told to go to the ER and have them check me out. Well they did, nothing, they thought I was crazy and didn't believe it was my appendix either. 

I ended up going in to my OB/GYN, the same one who had delivered my son.  I really did love her and trusted her. PS, I took my Grandma with me, she was a retired nurse and I needed her there. She tried a shot to see if it was a pulled muscle in my stomach and the shot didn't help. Next thing I know, I am being scheduled for exploratory surgery in three days.  I was in shock! I didn't know what was going on, I had never had surgery before, never been under anesthesia before and my son was still little and I was so scared. 

Until tomorrow, have a blessed day!

Who am I? Why am I here?

My name is Shauna, I am a wife, mother, student, business owner. The reason I am here is so I can connect with those who might be going through some of the same things I am going through but those who don't want to talk about it.

I have been struggling with secondary infertility. My only biological son is 17 1/2 now and have been trying to become a mom again for about 16 long years.  I want to talk about the struggles, the ups the downs, the emotions and whatever else might be going on at the time.

I am also a Bonus Mom to seven children. I don't use the word 'step', we don't like that word at our house. I am not trying to take anything away from their biological mom, but I am just an extra or "bonus" mom. We do have five of our kids at home full time. We stay so very busy all the time and we really enjoy it that way. 

While I write my blog, if you have any questions or want me to write about anything in particular, let me know! I am willing to open the door to suggestions. 

I am not a complicated person. I love my family, I love work and I love getting the chance to help others. I mentioned that I am a student. Well, yes that  I am. I am currently a senior at Tarleton State University getting my BS in Child Psychology. What does that mean? Well that means that once I am done, I want to work with kids. Although I will most likely head to Grad school first. While I am at school I work for the local school district and currently I am working at the Alternative school. I really do enjoy working here and I am able to use my training thus far on the students I have.


I really want to help those kids who don't have someone to stand up for them. I want to work with kids who are being abused, have been abused, neglected and things along that line. 

So, that is a little about me, and what I am here for. Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my very first blog and I do hope and pray that you will keep my blog around and check back in from time to time!